A dramatic day.

8/19/2006 11:09:00 pm

Well, I got someone arrested today. How's that for a conversation starter?

Long story short, I was on fitting-room patrol (a noble job if ever there were one), and this guy was coming and going and taking in large amounts of very expensive jeans and also a number of very large shopping bags. He was a bit strange and more than a little suspect, and he kept oogling my breasts which was starting to freak me out, and so because I had a fair idea he was up to something, I called my good friend Melvin of Loss Prevention. Mel and another dude came down and started following this guy and realised he was using a cutter to get hard tags off clothes, but then he noticed they were watching and quickly departed the store. I got really disappointed then because they hadn't caught him, but excited at the same time because I'm not really much of a suspicious person and I've always wanted to catch someone in the act. Just as a side note, I'm pretty sure I've heard people having sex in a fitting room but that was gross and not an act I particularly wanted to catch..

I'm not really sure how the next part of the story happened, but about half an hour later Melvin comes bounding down the escalator as enthusiastically as a retriever with a frisbee and demands I give him a hug. Why, you ask? Because Mel and the cops, somehow realised thief-man must be at the station and rushed down there only to aprehend him four minutes before the train left. Then on inspection of his bags, our local constabulary put him in handcuffs and escorted him back through the store under arrest. What was in his bags, you ask? Among other things, seven pairs of Armani jeans from A Rival Department Store, which at around $200 a pair were worth a pretty penny. Now that's just greedy.

So anyway, yay for me, I caught one finally. The new store manager came down to the floor and though he doesn't talk to us lowly floor staff (because he's better than us natch) and doesn't know my name, shook my hand and said "congratulations, well done."

High praise indeed.

In other news, I finished my essay on the philosophy of observation and theory-loading with hours to spare which doesn't happen oft. Now, on to the next one, a lit-review about bioluminescent bacteria due on Friday. And I have decided that my career path is to work for the Ministry of Science so I can write reports about..science. Things really are looking up.

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2 comments on this post

  1. Anonymous11:07 pm

    i didnt realise there was a ministry of science, i thoght they only had those things for magic... and in a similar story, guess who caught someone buying alcohol for drunk people i had refused sale to and then yelled at them in the middle of the street, who indeed you ask.. it was me!

  2. I think it's DEST, department of education and science. See here's my plan, if I can work for DEST then I can write reports and stuff, which I'm good at, and they can be about science, which I'm good at! It's a match made in heaven. And then maybe someday I'll make it to Antarctica to see the penguins (of course, under the guise of a serious research project teehee).

    About the arrest, well I'm sure the guy will want to hunt me down and kill me, but hey, I had a stalker last year (that's a post for another time!) and he never managed to get me. True, he only followed me home once and then I fobbed him off when he asked me, after trailing me for 2kms, if I wanted to go for a coffee some time, but you never can tell when they're gonna turn and go crazy.

    I was just so happy because I finally caught someone. My entire retail career (what a depressing phrase) I've wanted to catch someone stealing and have it come to fruition. I'm not really suspicious by nature, perhaps somewhere deep down in my cold black heart I still believe in the goodness of human nature...


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