The Flood.

7/16/2009 06:59:00 am

What happens when a pipe to your hot water tank bursts in the night when everyone is sleeping? Luckily for you, it happened to us a few months ago, so I can tell you what happens.

This pipe here, in case you were wondering.

You get woken up by a knock on your door at 6.45am and the voice of your flatmate through the door. This is how the conversation might go:

Door: knock knock knock.
Ellie: mmrraagghh, zzzzzz.
Door: knock knock knock knock.
Ellie: WHAT do you WANT?
Flatmate: Ellie the hot water burst. The house is filled with water. What should we do?
Ellie: zzzzz*
Door (pause): knock knock knock.
Flatmate: No really, the house is full of water and we can't turn off the water...

I'll tell you what happens shall I?

Well, first the living room fills up with water.

Then the water starts coming in the bedroom doors.

At this point it will be around 7.15am and you will need to call your estate agent. If you're super lucky, like us, he will live across the hallway from you and at 8am he will come to your door and you will have a conversation with him that goes something like this:
Agent: How far into the house is the water?
Tenants: It's into the whole house.
Agent: Oh. Well, I guess you guys will have to mop it up.
Tenants: six centimetres of water. In the WHOLE HOUSE.
Agent (pause): I'll my carpet guy.
Around about this time you will notice that the water has started leaking through the walls, and is now soaking through the bottom of your wardrobe.

You'll need to sit on the bed for a little while and weep uncontrollably when you notice this. It's ok, perfectly normal response.

At around 10.30am the carpet guy will show up with an industrial vacuum cleaner. He will suck up nine hundred and sixty litres of water. Let's just average that out and say he will soak up one tonne of water.

He will also break your clock and fail to remove the majority of the water from the bottom of your wardrobe so that the next time the sun comes out your room will smell like a wet woolly dog.

And then the very next day you will get a letter from the landlord informing you that the rent is being increased due to "increases in interest and site maintenance.

*That part's true. I tried to go back to sleep. It didn't work.

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