God, I tell you, though these last couple of weeks have been hectic, somehow I've managed to fit in an absurd amount of absurdly good food. And wine. I love saying absurd. Anyway.

Mediterranean-style tapas (I realise that's somewhat counter-intuitive), Brazilian BBQ, herb crusted barramundi. Oh my.

Best of all though, last weekend Lauren and I went to the Good Food and Wine Show. It was sort of like I died and went to heaven. Except with lots more people and a huge amount of cheese. And wine too.

I knew it was going to be a long day when it took us 30 minutes to move through the first 4 stands. The first 4 stands out of more than 1000. When we hit the Kahlua bar I thought we were in trouble, but that was before we found more cheese and the Finlandia vodka.

The draw card for Lauren, this year and last year, was Gordon. Despite his recent 90% drop in profit, she still loves that wrinkled old dude (and I'll admit, wrinkly though he is, he's not bad for an old guy...), and so we stood in line to take photos of him while he signed other peoples' cookbooks and shagged his assistant out the back. Well, we assumed he was shagging out the back: he was running 30 minutes late for the book signing. Oh, but we didn't take pictures of him shagging. I would have sold them to Today Tonight already and left the continent by now if those pictures existed.

Here is my obligatory shot of Gordon.
After that Lauren wanted to try and get him to sign her ticket but I was bored by then and wandered off. Also I wanted to hear him say fuck, but after a few mintues, where he patronised a man in a wheelchair, it became patently obvious that he was on best behaviour. How disappointing.
Thank god I did, because it was only then that I found the virginia ham stall and its neighbour, the gourmet sausage stall. Sweet jesus, I never knew how much I liked ham. And gourmet sausage. Or soft pretzels...they were next door to the sausage people.