I am going to be honest and lay bare the shocking, awful truth. I'm doing it here so as to be accountable.

I have become fat.

...erm... fatter.

Apart from a period of a time in 2007 when I was in Sweden and eating too many potatoes, I had been the same weight since year 11. That was 2002.

Then, in 2008-9ish, I gained two kilos. Their slow creep was almost imperceptible. I was spending lots of time in the library. Late nights. Anxiety. Nervous breakdown. Too many jobs. Bad skin. Eating McDonalds and mainlining caffeine. But it was ok, because it was only two kilograms and everything was going to be better when I didn't live with people who I hated, and wasn't spending 12 hours a day at uni.

Now that I have a real job, I spend 8 hours a day at a desk. Most days I walk less than 100 metres to retrieve my lunch. I can actually afford to buy lunch. And I live with someone who owns a car and drives me places when I am being pouty.

Three more kilograms have arrived. One of them has appeared since Christmas. Clothes have started to go to the back of the wardrobe. I am grumpy and moody, and I seem to be crying a lot.

This is not good.

Something must be done. Soon. This creep cannot continue or by the time I am 30 I will look even more like my mother (sorry mother, but we both know how I feel about your knees...). Albeit a much taller version.

And so, last week, I began to prepare a new endeavour. By shopping...

New Balance cushioning runners - iPod shuffle..unfortunately not that colour - DKNY ceramic watch that I don't actually own - Map My Run iPhone app

My initial thoughts about the endeavour:

1. Running shoes are fucking hideous. Why must it be so?
2. I wish I had bought my shuffle from the Apple store rather than JB Hi-Fi because then it would have cost 4 bucks more, had free shipping, not been scratched already, could have been any colour I wanted, had free engraving, and I wouldn't have had to deal with the trumped up little shit in The Strand JB who thought that because he worked in an electronics store he was cooler and smarter than those around him. And the Apple website wouldn't have snootily tried to up-sell me to a nano when I said, "I'm using it for running, I don't want a screen". Viva online shopping.
3. I need to buy a watch so I can make myself run for set periods of time instead of getting puffed and switching back to walking. Mmmmn pretty watch. 
4. Map My Run is going to be useful because not only will it make me feel inferior and bad about myself, it will tell me "Good Job" when I log a work out, even if it's just Disco Stu on youtube.

My birthday is at the end of April, and I will lose 5kg by then.

It is Saturday morning. Rob had his wisdom teeth out on Tuesday and now has some kind of referred ear & throat pain, so he is unconscious and a bit grumpy (neither are his fault, and I probably should have been kinder to him during the week).

There is a person downstairs with a casio keyboard, and they are apparently practising for an audition to become the song-maker on an ice cream truck.

I ate a lot of TV snacks last night, a boiled egg, a punnet of blueberries, and some wedges of brie, and my stomach is decidedly unimpressed. But I went for a jalk (that's a walk-jog hybrid...more walking that running really, otherwise it would be a "wun"), so it probably all balances out.

I'm trying to become more social. It's part of the plan. I mean, shit, I even went camping the other weekend and rode a horse. Her name was Princess, but that's beside the point. Once, when I was a more social person, and I had to study on the weekend (and so was extremely good at finding more interesting things to do), I went to the zoo with my flatmates. That was before I stopped liking them and things deteriorated in screaming matches. I don't think I'm really very good at share house living.

I took this photo at the zoo. I had only just bought my new camera, and I was really crap at using it (...still wouldn't say I've mastered it...), but I feel that this one turned out ok.



GGGRrrrrraaaaawawwwwwww!

Ok, I know it's been an age. It's because I haven't really been doing anything interesting, except eating too much and over-spending on my credit card, and I'm sure you don't really need to hear the story about how I got my bits and ruffles lasered... anyway... I just have to share something I wandered across on the tubes just now:



Sixty nine dollars for a singlet. Reduced from $120 AUD. AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHhahahammnhghrhahr, are these people on crack?!??

A singlet!

I am almost speechless, except to say this: ... Kmart.

Of course, if I were to be honest with you (and delusional with myself), I would tell you that my new year resolve involves becoming thinner, more confident, and funnier at parties. And also becoming someone who..goes to parties. Oh and fashionable too.

I'm going to stick with some more realistic resolves. I won't bore you, but let me just tell you that number one on the list is to eat more fibre. I'm not especially keen to repeat the colonoscopy and colorectal specialist experiences I had in 2010.

Or the food poisoning, but I've avoided Portugese chicken since that experience, and all seems to be going well...



The best way to ring in a new year is with positive thinking, pancakes, and good friends. Poodles are also a great help.


Shortly before new year I experienced all of the above, except that I must've used up all my mojo because when new year's eve actually came around, I was tired and teary, and went to bed long before midnight.

I bought a pilates DVD and some weights today though, so I'm sure that things will shortly be looking up. I am thinking good thoughts about this year, so surely good things must happen?