Look, I’ll preface this by saying, yes, I know these are very much first world problems, but I donate money to the RSPCA! No one is perfect, and so I’ll take a Kate Spade handbag, some Calvin Klein pumps, and a pair of Marc Jacobs sunglasses, and die shallow.

Material things, such as the above, are attainable; for the most part I’m held back only by my bank balance. But I’ve hit a stumbling block. Always, there’s an exception.

The leopard print, pony-skin ballet flat has, over the last 12 months (since before they were fashionable), become my Moby Dick. My white whale. I want these fucking shoes.

Of course, now that they fashionable, options abound. But they are just all wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I found the perfect pair on eBay last year. Perfect, but they didn’t fit. Even after I tried wearing them with two pairs of socks, stuffed them with wet newspaper, and took them to the nice shoe man to get stretched. It just wasn’t going to happen (canoe feet with…shudder…bunions). At least I got a good price when I re-sold them, sigh.

Then I found the perfect pair, again. PERFECT.  Except that I cannot have them. Seriously, endless.com, don’t mess with my head by only allowing some Calvins international shipping. It’s just mean. 

Calvin Klein "Parkley" Sigh.

I have scoured endless, shoebox, wanted, styletread, the iconic (in spite of its stupid name, I caved, only to find that they don’t stock any brands that I can’t already find elsewhere), wittner, nine west etc. I cannot find a pair comparable to the Calvins. Either they’re just not quite right, or they cost 300 dollars (I’m not that desperate, yet). And I cannot find anywhere that has the Calvins in my size (canoe feet!!) that will ship to Australia.



I know on a rational level that, at this stage, I need to let it go. I just need to let it go and move on. But, well.. I cannot.

I think I will go and donate some money to Unicef now.