Fat pants: an update

12/06/2015 10:49:00 am

I'm not embarrassed to admit that my fat pants review is the most popular page in the history of sosaidellie. Maybe a little bit embarrassed...

I've been reading some other suggestions recently for how one can combat chub rub, and even more so now, I stand by my previous recommendations. I've seen the following solutions touted as the Holy Grail for grated thighs:

  1. Summed up on Daily Life: Body Glide, 3B Action Cream, raw coconut oil, Secret Shield and baby powder, amongst others. 
  2. Bustle suggests keeping them separated! This is the key!! This article also mentions Bandalettes, which sometimes I think I should try. But I'm on a winner at the moment, and I don't want to waste more precious resources on something that fails, and rolls in on itself from both sides, a la Bridget Jones at the Lawyers' Society Dinner. I have my doubts. 
  3. Chalk another one up for Bandalettes, tiny shorts, and slippy culotte-type things (which I've never seen in Australia), deodorant, Body Glide, lube, cooking spray, and various anti-chafing/nappy rash creams. 

I cannot fathom how it can possibly be comfortable to slather your thighs with slippery (sometimes sticky) stuff, especially because chub rub season usually coincides with temperatures well beyond 30 degrees C. The ladies writing these posts are much larger than me, so maybe that makes a difference?
But on a day when the humidity pushes you towards to ground, your clothes feel just a tiiiny bit damp the moment you step out the door, and even your elbow creases are sweating...nope, I just can't see myself whipping on the astroglide, and I'll be damned if talcum powder has sufficient staying power to get me from home to the train station, let alone last the whole day.

So here is an update on my previous fat pant overview:

I said it then, I will say it again: the Uniqlo Women Body High Rise Shaper Half Shorts $14.90 are a game changer. Light weight, breathable, firm top with no digging, very little leg rolling, and not completely hideous.

For three years, I stocked up in Japan so I'd have enough to get me through the Sydney summers, and then some. This year though, we took no trip to Japan, and the situation was getting desperate. Even though Uniqlo has now come to Australia, originally they didn't stock the lace-top shorts, and I wasn't prepared to take a punt on the other variations.

Then, my friend called to tell me that she had seen them in Uniqlo Mid City. In more colours than ever before! My cup runneth over!!

Smoothing power ★★★✩  
Firmness ★★★
Indentation avoidance ★
Chub rub prevention ★★★★

Later that day I was at the Macquarie Centre, which also has a Uniqlo (and an H&M, but all the shops close at 6pm on Fridays, and I ran out of time), and not only did I replenish my supplies, I bought some of the Seamless BodyShaper Shorts, also $14.90. They're pretty good, but the lace top is really the key to a truly non-dig waistband, so I won't be toning down my evangelism any time soon.

I've read that shapewear is bad for you, but the beauty of the Uniqlo shorts is that they don't really compress.  Rather, they create a layer that swooshes past itself on contact, relieving the soft skin underneath from the rub. Unfortunately, the sizing is Japanese, and in spite of the loss of numerous kgs over the past 18 months, I still need a big fat L, otherwise they do have a tendency to slightly salami-squeeze the upper thigh...

As for the Nina Shaping Shortie by Yummie Tummie $20.95 (up from $18.95 two years ago) and the Triumph Shape Sensation Long Short $15 (down from $44), they've stayed in the drawer since 2013. The Nina legs are too short, in spite of the overall comfort. The Triumphs, and any of their ilk are too hot. Too much rolling up, rolling down, and too many inelegant wardrobe adjustments in the bathroom at work.

Also, never buy a body suit off eBay.

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