I'm always very interested in the search terms that lead people to my blog. I've said it before, but you'd be amazed just how much traffic those posts about chlamydia (it was not that kind of chlamydia!) and the puffiness of the eye get. But listen, all you internet--hypochondriac-diagnosers out there (no judgement, I am one myself), I have to tell you something important:

If it's oozing, you need to see a doctor. Like, now.