I did however do a bit of trawling through the interwebs yesterday looking for some information and I came across something interesting. My paper is (or at least will be, once it is written) a critical comment about the 2002 Lockhart Review in to the Australian Federal guidelines about human cloning and research. Typing "Lockhart Review" into Google doesn't even get you the original legislation or review recommendations, but it does give a number of hardline religious articles about how all scientists are evil and we're all doomed to hell. They might've said the apocalypse is coming too, but I didn't really read that closely.
Anyway, I found something that really stood out to me as a non sequitur. I know what that means, I looked it up.
The key recommendation of the Lockhart Report is that:
Human somatic cell nuclear transfer should be permitted, under licence, to create anduse human embryo clones for research, training and clinical application, including the
production of human embryonic stem cells, as long as the activity satisfies all the criteria
outlined in the amended Act and these embryos are not implanted into the body of a woman
or allowed to develop for more than 14 days.
This recommendation should not be acted upon because:1. HALF THE MEMBERS OF THE LOCKHART REVIEW, INCLUDING
THE TWO APPOINTED FOR THEIR EXPERTISE IN ETHICS, WERE
ALREADY ON THE RECORD AS SUPPORTING HUMAN CLONING FOR
RESEARCH. THE RECOMMENDATIONS MERELY REFLECT THEIR
PERSONAL VIEWS.
Firstly, I love how it's all in capitals. It makes me want to agree with them. I mean, if it's in capitals it must be true and morally correct.
But I love their argument more: half the panel were in support of cloning! It wasn't a fair review! ...but ah...what about the other half? Who presumably were not in support of cloning...?
I protest! It wasn't a fair review!! Half the panel were against human cloning from the beginning!
I don't think any of my dandelion wishes have ever come true, but it's nice to think of the possibilities.
Luckily I was swimming laps so I had on my goggles and bright yellow swimming cap, thus I was incognito. Luckily, even more so, on closer inspection I don't actually think it was him. The point is though, that seeing this doppelgänger, triggered an old memory, one that had been buried deep down toward the left of my dorsolateral prefrontal cortex. As a side note, don't you just love how I'm pulling out all these fancy words; I'm in the mood for obfuscation. Ahaha, that's all the funnier because it's a fancy word in itself. Anyway.
A number of years ago, I was at a party at one of the other apartments in the uni housing where I lived. From what I remember, I had a few glasses of very sweet wine, which, combined with exhaustion from exam study, meant that I needed to have a lie down. I was just resting mind you..
Ali had lived a very sheltered life and for some reason had got it in to his head that I was some kind of vixen. I'm not sure where he got that idea, but it was apparently very firmly entrenched as was evidenced by a curious discussion we had in the hedge one night at 3am about oral sex (except that he kept saying 'cunnilingus', which was very hilarious because of his accent).
So, there I am, having a rest in my friend's bed. People were coming and going, sitting on the bed for a chat, rubbing my back and making soothing noises about my exam stress, it was all very jolly. Then, in a quiet moment, in came Ali and he lay down on top of me, baby-turtle style, and whispered, nay crooned, in to my ear, "Ellie, I want you to teach me how to make love."
Needless to say, I declined.
It's amazing the things that happen while I'm in the pool.
It's very tempting. But instead I shall seek respite in potential retail therapy of a more immediate (and less imaginary) kind...
Nanichan Melodramatic Magnolia Brooch
Cherry Creek 2 Hearts Bangle.
Joanna Rutter Bird and Branch earrings.
We can but imagine a world full of wonderful possibility.
While obviously, these imaginings involve the purchase of a scooter (sky blue, old-styled Vespa with round mirrors, not square) and acquisition of a puppy, they also include the pretty things I will buy for myself in the absence of a rich husband (see above "debated pros and cons").
For example
This little blue box is going to be a present to myself.
Well, I firmly believe that some people are just annoying.
Annoying enough to make me want to punch them in the face. And I don't do punching because I'm very delicate and it would make my hand hurt, so you can tell what a serious predicament I'm in here.
You may remember a post a while back about an irritating fucker in my class (although who am I kidding? I know the only reason you're reading this is because you have an eye infection or chlamydia), let's call him Björn Förarglig.
Well last week in my seminar, there was this person sitting up the back coughing. I don't mean like, a cough here, a cough there, I mean coughing continuously for two and a half hours. They weren't even gross sick sounding coughs, just pansy girl coughs. Continuously. Anyway, I was sitting there thinking, "Why doesn't that stupid person coughing get some water or shut the hell up? They're really annoying," and at the same time I was thinking, "God that person is annoying, if that were me I'd be embarrassed to disrupt the class like this continuously for two and a half hours." I wasn't sure who it was...until doom doom doom... said cougher opened his mouth and started talking pretentious bull-shit in a voice that was very familiar. Björn Förarglig, you disgusting, chauvinistic, muffin-eating, greasy-haired, long-fingernailed specimen of hope for our species: welcome back into my life.
Stay tuned for Part Two, in which Ellie has to be physically restrained from bodily harm toward a different a classmate because he's a condescending idiot who knows nothing but likes to talk.
We'll call him Björn Pinsamt. Because I think it's funny to call people Björn.