No, really?

4/07/2009 10:42:00 am

I'm in the mood for a rant. It's not even a rant-worthy subject, but I'm just generally annoyed this morning because I got locked out and had to spend a hundred bucks on a locksmith. Whilst in my pyjamas. And I was on such a high yesterday after becoming embroiled in, and subsequently winning, a late-afternoon eBay bidding war. It felt good, really it did.

Anyway. Here we go:*

Public Transport Rules for Non-Crazy People**

1) When the bus is more than 2/3 empty, it's just not cool to sit next to someone.

2) If you have a choice between 38 empty seats and one with a person carrying two big-ass bags full of macbook, electronic equipment, a 6-pack of yogurt and some felafel, it's just not cool to ask that person to move their bags so you can sit there.

3) If you are sitting next to someone carrying two big-ass bags full of macbook, electronic equipment, a 6-pack of yogurt and some felafel, the polite thing to do is get up when their stop is coming up. You know, preferably into one of the 38 other empty seats on the bus. You don't just swing your feet out of the way and then look pissy when the person carrying 2 big-ass bags accidentally whacks you in the head. If you left your head in the way then you only have yourself to blame.

*And just for the record here, this whole situation was made even weirder by the fact that it wasn't a skeezy old man smelling of vodka, because god knows we've all been there; it was a totally normal looking young woman.

**Obviously there's a whole other set of public-transport rules for crazy people. Namely, if you tried to kill me by sitting on me and squashing me flat, even though I was clearly trying to get out of your way, it's just not cool to offer me a mandarin a year later. Not cool, just creepy.

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