The fat runner: food

2/27/2011 04:14:00 pm

I have an unhealthy relationship with food: I eat it. 

And then I feel guilty. 

I dont have the willpower for anorexia, and my gag reflex isn't much to write home about, so I'm shit out of luck on the bulimia front.

The problem is that I know what I'm supposed to be eating, and I know that small frequent meals are better and white bread is Bad For You. Fried foods are evil and you shouldn't eat pasta. Don't eat carbs after 4pm, and you can forget about rice, full stop. Eat fruit, but not too much, especially if it's high in fructose. Eat vegetables, but avoid potatoes. It goes on.
Why should I even listen to these lists of don't when no one can decide on a diet that actually works; Atkins, low fructose, low GI, high fibre, Paleo, raw foods,  cooked foods, seafood. Why do they tell you to stay positive, but fill your mind with lists of negatives. And if rice is that bad then why are Japanese people so fucking skinny!??

Eating should be a joyous thing. Eating is about taste, and texture, and satisfaction. It's not just about sustenance. Lately, on the food front, I feel as though I am being attacked from many directions. 

I am a flawed human because I don't like to eat breakfast. I like toast, and a handful of almonds doesn't hit the spot for me. Not even close. And being told by someone, "your idea of a snack is more like my idea of a meal" doesn't really help, even when they are trying to be positive. Nor does it help when you are told by someone who thinks they know better, with a sneer on their face, that their ideas about exercise are essentially the only correct ones, and no matter what you may have read, the only really effective cardio exercise is running. Even though it's high impact and ah.. pretty bad for someone who is 25 and has fucked up knees already. 
It doesn't help that in our house I do 90% of the cooking and 70% of the cleaning. In reality that means that I spend most of my spare time at home cooking and/or cleaning, and sometimes when I get home at 8pm (most times), I don't really feel like roasting an organic chicken and making a high-GI pesticide-free green salad. What I would really like, is to not have to think about it at all, instead of walking in the door and going straight to the kitchen, when I would much prefer to eat a biscuit and go to bed. I feel like I am doing this all by myself.

Also, I am pissed off, and finding it hard to stay motivated when I have been going to the gym for 3 weeks and am yet to shift a gram. A single fucking gram. And don't come here with that muscle density bullshit, because my measurements haven't changed either, and it's still an effort to walk up the 4 flights of stairs to our apartment.

Where is the list that says, eat anything you like, eat it in moderation, and enjoy your life? Maybe that diet hasn't been invented yet.

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2 comments on this post

  1. Anonymous6:15 pm

    hey i think that diet is called the "CSIRO well being diet". i think vick might have a copy?


  2. yeah i have a copy at home somewhere, i've read over it lots of times but never actually cooked anything from it...


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